Four years ago, when i was 18, i noticed that at night my front window is very reflective so i was pretending to dive in slow motion and shoot, dual pistol style. Suddenly a really hot girl walked past and i was startled and fell over. Embarrassed i waited for a bit and then stood up. As i stoop up i saw her slowly shooting an imaginary rifle from behind a car. We then proceeded to do this for 10 minutes until she did an extremely dramatic death. She wasn't getting up so i went outside to meet her. Once i got to where she was, there was nothing but a piece of paper with a mobile number on it. Today, we are getting married.
Today, I got a nosebleed in the cinema. My girlfriend rummaged around in her bag, then got a tampon and shoved it up my nose. It worked.
Today, I went to my friend's house, who is Chinese. Her mom is still learning English. When I sat down, I glanced down and saw their grocery list which read, "Dead cows. Dead chickens. Plants. Snowflakes." That last part still confuses me. (This one reminded me of Yegor so much!)
The other day, my boyfriend and I were walking to our seventh hour class. As we walked down the hallway, some upper-classman shoved my boyfriend, and he, by chain reaction, hit me. Well, I managed to hit a locker. Not realizing it was a locker, I turned and immediately apologized, "Oh my gosh! Are you okay?! I am so so-... Sorry." I stopped, realizing it was in fact a locker. I remember saying, "Oh... You're a locker... You don't talk..." At which point, no doubt a freshman from inside the locker replies, "Yeah, I'm fine. How about you?"
Yesterday I was in Chemistry, and the teacher passed back the tests we had taken the previous week. I had read an MLIA (My Life Is Average) about a guy who drew two stick figures on his test, gave one a gun, and had him say "Give me an A or the stick man gets it!" or something like that. So I figured I'd try it. When I got the test back, the teacher had drawn a superman stick figure saving the one at gun point, and written "Nice try! MLIA?" I didn't get an A, but it was still pretty awesome.
I had a fake spider i had thrown under the computer desk and was to lazy to pick up. Later that day i got a call from my dad and he was freaking out. He said that there was a huge spider and he is trying to kill. i didn't bother to tell him it was fake. i got home two hours later, and he was still attempting to kill it with a broom.
Today, I was in my bedroom doing homework when I heard my dad yelling "GO! GO! GO!" I went into the livingroom, wondering what sports game was on when to my surprise I found him yelling at my brother to call and vote for his favorite couple on Dancing with the Stars.
1 comment:
I'm going to have to add that to my list of daily reading. That's hilarious!
Post a Comment